It doesn’t have to be perfect
Whaaaaat! Of course it has to be perfect. Everything has to be perfect. I have to be perfect. The world may possibly end if everything isn’t 100% perfect.
Okay seriously, most of us know that the world is not going to end and that perfection is pretty much impossible. The true goal is simply to be satisfied with the final result. I have at times driven myself crazy trying to meet my own unrealistic expectations. I pull out some hair in the process but I eventually face up to facts. I’m not going to achieve perfection but with the right conditions–a deadline, a boss to answer to or most forms of accountability–I’m okay settling for doing my best.
The problem with the pursuit of perfection mostly comes up when working on independent creative projects. With little to no accountability, it’s a whole lot easier to get stuck. For a long time, I struggled to complete any of my writing projects because if the beginning wasn’t perfect I couldn’t get to the end. An obviously frustrating way to work, that led to realizing done, even badly, is better than not done. I learned to embrace the idea of the messy draft which enabled me to get to the real work of revision.
Your standards are too high
My standards are not too high, yours are too low. Excuse me for not setting my sights on mediocrity. Anything less than the best is not worth the effort.
Okay, okay. I know sometimes I hold myself to ridiculously high standards. I can’t even count the number of books that touch on the topic of the inner critic. This doesn’t even just apply to creative work. So many of us are our own worst enemy. We criticize and berate ourselves in ways that we would never do to anyone else, even our worst enemy.
But there is value in setting high standards. If and when I fall short, I still produce high quality work. The major pitfall that I’m learning to avoid is negative self-talk. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, I push myself to celebrate the successful bits. I even created a feel good file, where I keep thank you notes, positive feedback and anything else that demonstrates the value of my work. In times of doubt and insecurity it helps build me back up.
Nobody cares if it’s perfect
Have you not been listening, I care. I need to be perfect, because if not I’m nothing. I don’t matter and nothing I do will matter unless it is perfect. I can’t stand the idea of people thinking I’m anything less.
There likely needs to be some unpacking of childhood trauma to fully understand this irrational fear. Between the need to impress adults as an overachieving student and being bullied by other kids, I developed some insecurity issues. I worry about being judged because of how I look, or talk, or the work that I do. I know I shouldn’t care what other people think of me and consciously I don’t really. But I know that deep down, even if I’m completely unaware of it, that fear still exists. When it bubbles up to the surface threatening to stall me in my tracks, I remind myself that everyone else is just as fucked up as I am. What they think of me, has more to do with their issues than mine.